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Temporary Order of Protection Questions

Hi. On Thursday, Feb. 18 at 1030pm my wife returned from her daughter and son in law's home. She was in a good mood earlier in the day, but came home in a depressed mood. She then complained that she wished she had more money to help the kids, even though we , including her and I , have helped them repeatedly. This escalated into an argument. During the argument, as I got up to leave the room and the discussion, she grabbed my arm and as I pulled away severely scratched my arm . She them hit me in the mouth causing the upper pallet to be torn and bleed. I told her I could call the police and register an assault charge. She saw the bleeding. Then she really fumed. She left the house and went for a walk. A few minutes later at 1130 pm two cops were at my door. One stayed outside with her and the other inside with me. She told her story separate from mine. Both cops, however saw the lip and pallet wound. Before they left , they suggested we separate for the evening. My wife went to her other daughter's house. This was at 1215 pm. At 330 am, my doorbell was ringing. I carefully looked out the window and saw two patrol cars. I didn't open the door. They left. At 800 am, my door bell was ringing. Now there were three patrol cars and they were walking around the property. Again, I didn't open the door. At 900 am, the alarm was deactivated, the door unlocked and my wife comes in with the 6 officers. They serve me with a Temporary Order of Protection. It had been granted at 1230 pm at the police station near my house. The hearing is in two weeks. Two of the officers followed me around the house while I packed some items for the next two weeks. I asked them why I was being put out of my house. They said that she got the Temporary Order of Protection first and I had not applied for one despite the fact that I was the injured and battered parti. They asked if I wanted to make a written statement to add to the report of the previous night. I did. They asked if I wanted to press charges and I said yes. At noon, I went to the emergency room, they took pictures, examined me, wrote a report and gave the report to me with the pictures. My question is....with the facts at hand, at the Hearing, once the judge sees the assault and battery, is it in my favor that the temporary order for protection in her favor be either dismissed or overturned and a new order be issued by the judge against her. This would include having her move out of the house. ANONOMOUS


  1. You haven't said what state you are in. I have an active restraining order against me in Wisconsin. However most states do not allow mutual restraining orders--to get a restraining order in the reverse direction you would need to file a separate petition which would be addressed separately. The judge won't be considering a restraining order in the reverse direction unless you go through the steps yourself of getting a temporary order of protection against her, having her served, etc. Just because there may be proof of the assault and battery doesn't mean that she may not have grounds for seeking an order against you--which may not take the form of a physical injury.

    You need to look at the allegations that she is making in her temporary restraining order and be prepared to defend yourself against those claims. When Angela sought a restraining order against me, the process in court was that Angela was first asked to describe the alleged abuse. Then I was questioned about it by the judge and finally I was given the chance to question Angela about her allegations. I wasn't as well prepared to question her as I should have been and you should come better prepared. If your wife's allegations are untrue then be prepared with questions for her. Ideally you will also bring evidence and witnesses presenting a different version of events from the one she is presenting. If her allegations against you are of a sexual nature--Angela's allegations against me were sexual in nature--you need to be prepared to question her about that even though it may be embarrassing.

    If successful, this will result in her bid to make her restraining order permanent being denied. But--at least in most states--to get an order in the reverse direction (against her) will require a separate petition. That shouldn't be too difficult because you already have pending criminal charges against her but you will need to be proactive.

    It is of course entirely possible that restraining orders in both directions will be granted. Your allegations against her may be 100% true but since I don't know what her allegations against you are, it is entirely possible that her allegations are completely separate and also true. If restraining orders in both directions do end up being granted I don't know who gets to live in the house--probably a question for an attorney in your state.

    But--in sum--the hearing coming up is just to grant or deny her permanent restraining order. A temporary or permanent order in the opposite direction against her requires a separate petition.

  2. I think the best thing for you to do is file for divorce. This woman assaulted you and then got the law on you - who knows what she is capable of.

    My wife had a TRO taken out against me at an ex-parte hearing and I was served at my place of employment and was literally homeless for 3 days. I wasn't able to get anything out of the house for close to a month. This was in Indiana. It sounds like you were treated a little more gently. Anyway, after I filed for divorce, she had the order vacated so you might want to try that.

    Don't expect the courts to give too much consideration to the assault charge. Trust me, you are down by law being the man.

    1. But when men actually use the law for false purposes, that's okay? Because some little half witted scum from Scottsdale has a false order against me. But because he's a "man" (keep in mind, this guy is no man) he gets all the perks, because Mormons hate women, and women get second place when they've taken over. But the writer of this blog hates women, too. Too bad he couches this in concern for "rights" because he only cares that men get them. Sorry, but women can be victimized by spiteful men as well. I don't even get the extreme displeasure of having any kind of relationship with this loser. He gets to pretend to be a victim, while continuously harassing me. But nothing I write ever gets published, because women are all "bad" according to this guy.