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Stalking In America

Every American wants Romance and Love, and most of us will do anything to save our failing relationships. All of our lives we are bombarded with mixed messages of how to have a relationship, and win someone's Love. Unfortunately, when Big Brother gets involved, the things that worked before, like sending a box of Candy or Flowers, or apologizing in Person, can get you arrested for Stalking!
It is only Human Nature when you Love someone, to try and find out and fix what you perceive to be wrong with the relationship. You might even ask some mutual friends what they think went wrong with the relationship. This can get you arrested for third party contact, if a restraining order is in place. Do it twice here in Tampa Florida, and you qualify for Stalking! Now, do it 3 times, and guess what ?
You are now eligible for Felony Stalking!

Unconsciously, many of us are conditioned to become Stalkers, w/o our knowledge. Many Love Stories in our Literature are full of heroic efforts by one partner, to win the Love of another.

Before we get in music about Stalking, here is a quote from our friend Kevin about stalking.

"I'm pretty sure the reason stalking incidents have gone up so significantly is because the definition of stalking has changed. Twenty years ago, if you broke up with someone and they tried to get you back, sending you flowers, candy, calling unexpectedly, showing up at your house or work, that was just called romantic. Look at the movie "Say Anything" for example, the famous ghetto blaster scene. By today's standards the dude would be arrested. Now a days if you ask a woman out twice you could get tagged as a stalker.

This is not to say there aren't real incidents of obsessive stalking. You hear about it in the news all the time. I know a few women who it's happened to and it's seriously creepy. But I'm sure most of the incidents reported are simply ordinary run-of-the-mill jilted lovers who take a few weeks to realize the five year relationship is really over. And of course in our paranoid culture, these incidents are red-flagged as stalking. I guess what I'm saying is that I doubt there's been an increase in stalking lately. It's just that there's a name and a stigma for it now. There's also been a dramatic increase in fines for failure to wear a seatbelt in the past 30 years, mostly because it wasn't considered a crime in the past.

By this modern definition, pretty much any break-up song is a stalker song. Anyone who's ever loved someone deeply enough and is not over it the instant the relationship ends, calling, begging, pleading, holding onto hope, is a stalker. Situations like this should be differntiated from the obsessive, creepy, violent, intrusive kind of stalking that's the real problem in today's culture. If this were the case, I'm sure the numbers would be far less than 8%."

Just my opinion.


Let's examine some of these Songs about Stalking (most were number 1 Hits!)

In the video below, he is Stalking the girl he loves.

Here is a Country Singer Clay Aiken talking quite clearly about Stalking in the video below!

Let's not forget about our friend Sting who used to be with the Police, before he went Solo, LOL
If he did the Stalking he advocates in this song, he would be with the Police again, but in Handcuffs this time, Listen to the words, and remember this song, and the ones posted above, were all big hits!

Here is a recent song about Stalking In America by Lady Gaga. It shows that Women must have Stalking thoughts too, because in the song she says she will follow and chase her man down until he Loves her.

Our Songs are full of references to simple persistence, that can now be called Stalking. Here is one from my generation. I was 13 when this song came out.

Or this one by (Gasp) a very pretty woman, Debbie Harry of Blondie!  She says in the song she will drive past his house, to see who's around! This was a huge number one hit, back in the day. The words to this song are sung very clearly.
Lets look at some of the lyrics in this song,  she is talking about Stalking and Murder!
I will drive past your house
And if the lights are all down
I'll see who's around

And if the lights are all out
I'll follow your bus downtown
See who's hanging out

I'll walk down the mall
Stand over by the wall
Where I can see it all
Find out who ya call
Lead you to the supermarket checkout
Some specials and rat food, get lost in the crowd

I really like this song. I used to dance to is a lot, back in the early 80's. But that doesn't mean I can't recognize a stalker song when I hear one. This starts as a song about wanting to be with someone and seems to turn into a kidnapping. Ouch!

You are an obsession, I cannot sleep
I am a possession unopened at your feet
There is no balance, no equality
Be still I will not accept defeat

I will have you, yes I will have you
I will find a way and I will have you
Like a butterfly, a wild butterfly
I will collect you and capture you

You are an obsession, you're my obsession
Who do you want me to be to make you sleep with me

I feed you, I drink you by day and by night
I need you, I need you by sun or candlelight
You protest, you want to leave
You say there's no alternative

Your face appears again, I see the beauty there
But I see danger, stranger beware
A circumstance in your naked dreams
Your affection is not what it seems


My fantasy has turned to madness
All my goodness has turned to badness
My need to possess you has consumed my soul
My life is trembling, I have no control

I will have you, yes I will have you
I will find a way and I will have you
Like a butterfly, a wild butterfly
I will collect you and capture you

1 comment:

  1. Frankly, if Lloyd Dobler appeared on my front lawn with a boom box blaring MY FANTASY HAS TURNED TO MADNESS hell yeah I would call the police!