This Blog is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Some posters are court ordered to have no contact of any kind with the person having a Restraining Order against them. Meaning no third party contact as well. If you by chance know a person one of our posters/authors is discussing to share their experiences with others, we ask you to respect our rights to free speech, under the United States Constitution. Restraining Order Blog is not meant to harass, directly or indirectly contact, harm, intimidate, bring any emotional distress, stalk or cyberstalk, nor intentionally slander or damage any individual in any way. Nor is it intended to initiate any third party contact on behalf of any poster or author, or violate a current restraining order in any way either. If you feel there is anything here that is slanderous, untrue, or illegal, please bring it to our attention. We will examine your request promptly, and any post you find offensive will be reviewed for removal in a timely manner. If you have a story to share, email me at, and I will add you as an author on Restraining Order Blog.


Check it Out: Perjury’s Okay for Episcopal Clergy as Long as They’re Not Convicted

Recently, I again contacted the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia about Episcopal priest Bob Malm’s lies under oath. Among other things, he falsely stated under oath that my mother, or someone claiming to be her, contacted him repeatedly. This simply didn’t happen, and it should be an easy matter to pull emails or phone records to confirm that my mother, dying of COPD and very frail, never contacted Bob.

But rather than investigate, the diocese says it won’t touch the matter absent a criminal conviction. Guess that extends to rape, child abuse, robbery, embezzlement and murder. It’s all okay as long as there’s no conviction.

And for the record, nothing in church canons requires complainants to maintain confidentiality. But the diocese did violate church canons requiring that it withhold my identity to the respondent.

My takeaway: The Episcopal Church is seriously screwed up.


Episcopal Bishops of Virginia Refuse to Address Bob Malm’s Perjury

Some time ago, I emailed both Bishop Susan Goff and Bishop Shannon Johnston of the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia about Episcopal priest Bob Malm’s false statements of fact to the courts. Neither bothered to respond. Bob Malm remains rector of Grace Episcopal Church in Alexandria VA and, to my knowledge, has not been held accountable in any way for his fabrications.

In addition, I have informed the bishops repeatedly of Bob Malm’s written perjury in his response to my interrogatories, in which he lied, claiming that my mother, dying of COPD, contacted him repeatedly. She did not.

Needless to say, the bishops have done nothing about this incident of perjury, either.

All I can say is if you’re looking for integrity, you won’t find it in the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia, nor in the Episcopal Church generally.

Here is a copy of my email.

Bob Malm Perjuring Priest


Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality DIsorder

I found your blog last July after my (now ex) girlfriend set up a scenario where she attempted to make me look abusive in public…and then had a guy there to run down and threaten to shoot me if I went near her. We had started to go kayaking that day. I love kayaking, but knew better than to get stuck on the water for a whole day with her—especially if she was in a bad mood. 

She had owned this kayak for about a year and I blew off her attempts to get me to go until last June. She had gone on this particular route with her roommate two weekends before and either enjoyed it. Or more likely, had scouted the area out to either have the crap beat out of me….or killed. She is Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality DIsorder co-morbidly. I know this because when we first got together she told me in confidence that her ex-husband had it. I realized later thatall the bad traits she projected on to him, were really things she hated about herself. 

We headed downriver and made it about 1000 yards, when I suggested that I call strokes so we didn’t paddle against each other. She replied, “that’s the stupidest fucking idea I’ve ever heard.” And right then,I knew that this day was going to be mierable. So I told her I was it was over, that I loved kayaking but hated her and would no longer tolerate her abuse. 

I paddled both of us back to the boat ramp where she proceeded to pull my life jacket and knock me off balance and onto her Then she screamed, “Go ahead! Do it! I date you!!!” I laguhed at her theatrics and replied “Do what” and then walked away to begin putting the kayak up on the shore. She drove that day, so after insulting me, berating me and throwing every possible invective at me she could muster up to no avail….she gave up on her plan and went to get the car. 

It was here that she either saw a man in the parking lot who had not seen what happened and told him I was abusing her…or he was a friend and already knew what he was supposed to do. 15 minutes after she had pulled me on top of her, he came running down swearing at me and telling me he would kill me. He said he was a police officer. I laughed at that suggestion because he looked like a dirty, sketchy meth addict. I grabbed an or and put the sharp end to his neck and held him back. She said nothing to stop the insanity or dissuade him from trying to hurt me. Instead she continued insulting me and trying to provoke me into doing something stupid.

They were unsuccessful and I had begun rolling video on my iPhone to document the situation (thank god). I have never been inclined to abuse my girlfriends ….ever. I was pissed. But not so pissed to realize that I was being set up. After the scene in the water,, I had the presence of mind to start recording video. Unfortunately,I had just turned it off when the guy came running at me and had to pick up a boat oar to fend him off. 

My ex-girlfriend ended up looked kinda stupid. And being NPD/BPD, looking like an idiot is something she cannot let go of. So she began to punish me. Of course I didn’t realize this was happening until I called her because my Social Security NUmber had been used fraudulently, strangely in 5 or so cities that she happened to have lived in in the past. I threatened to call the police in a voice mail. And not surprisingly, thenext day the sherriff of her county called me and told me she had filed for a restraining order.

The judge dismissed it. Burt not before I realized that my lawyer was doing her best to throw the proceeding in my ex’s fabor. The town that the ex lives in is small. The lawyer livers there so I had reservations and asked my lawyer if she knew my ex. She was greatly offended and informed me that would be a conflict of interest. Turns out my lawyer was the friend of my ex that I had never met in person. 

She promised that she would try to dissuade my ex from taking it to court, but kept asking for all my evidence that would smear my ex to use as ammunition. It never happened. I sent her a few things but nothing that would prove that my ex was an amateur porn “star” or a prostitute or a meth addict. I didn’t feel those things were appropriate and I also didn’t want my ex to know all of the dirt I had found by running a background check. 

My lawyer tried to torpedo me in court. But she failed and the case was dismissed. I left the courthouse after she made sure I was out the door so she could talk to my ex and her new boyfriend. I called the bar association in a nearby parking lot and then returned to get some things I had left in the building. I thought they would be gone, but as I pulled into the parking lot, she was in her van and her new boyfriend was walking to his car. I turned around and pulled up to her minivan and told her to enjoy my retainer and that she wasn’t worth a penny of the money. 

Now I’ve been given a restraining order and face a new case which has switched form civil to criminal court. No proof has been offered to date as to either the email or the voicemail they are using as evidence. Only her word. And even with those two pieces of evidence, I have not made a single threat to harm her. I only threatened to call the poiice about a crime she had commited with my social security card. I had to take an unplanned leave of absence from work and get some help with my anxiety. She has done her best to drive a wedge between me and my family….and she directed another friend of hers with Borderline Personality Disorder to get in a relationship with my best friend and to keep him from spending any time with me. I think the goal is to isolate me and smear my name so I will lose and be discredited before I can get the FBI and local police to investigate her crimes. So far it is working. 

My ex has used hundreds of aliases. Not sure which she used in your area. She has lived all over california, Florida, New York, Nebraska, Kansas and Las Vegas. I even found evidence she has  taken her shit-show as far as Sydney, Austraila. Supposedly she was sexually abused by nearly every man that she ever so much as looked at. Namely…her stepdad supposedly mollested her for years. Recently i believe that I have discovered that she ended up marrying him (or at least lived with and had kids with him.)  

Sorry to dump all this on you. You have dealt with enough. But I had to check this box before I went to trial in hopes of a hail Mary. We’ll see what happens.


More News from Grace Episcopal Alexandria and Lying Priest Bob Malm

In motions court today, the Circuit Court judge granted my request for dismissal. In addition, the Court allowed Bob Malm and Jeff Chiow to brief the court on possible attorney fees related to a family email account hosted in Canada pertaining to emails from 2015, which Jeff asserts were actually mine. The Court said it would entertain the plaintiff’s brief, despite the multiple lies Bob Malm and Jeff Chiow told the court, including that:
  1. I was never admitted to practice law.
  2. I never served as a police officer.
  3. That I have, to use Jeff’s words, repeatedly “threatened and terrorized” Bob by blogging about him.
Of course, in the meantime Jeff and Bob continue their efforts to deceive the court by taking statements out of context and refusing to specify how they were threatened, even after the court ordered them to do so.

Additionally, Bob Malm’s discovery responses include multiple falsehoods, including the claim that only Leslie Malm has blogged about the issue.

It also should be noted that Jeff has provided his legal services on a pro bono basis.

Apropos Bob’s claim that he was threatened, below is a copy of his proposed settlement, which I rejected.


Update 4: Episcopal Priest Bob Malm Refers to Me and Mom as “Domestic Terrorists”

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any uglier and less Christian, along comes Episcopal priest Bob Malm via his attorney, telling the court that mom and I are “domestic terrorists.”

See for yourself:

Meanwhile, Jeff Chiow continues to claim that this is a case of “domestic terrorism,” in his court filings, even while he sends forward settlement proposals.

If nothing else, a really stupid approach. If one concludes that Jeff is lying, then folks are likely to avoid the church for that very reason. If, on the other hand, one concludes that Jeff is telling the truth, then one is likely to avoid the church for that reason. Either way, not good. And the fact that the police have not gotten involved speaks compellingly to Jeff’s claims of “domestic terrorism.”


Oregon Restraining Order Questions


Update 3:: Episcopal Priest Bob Malm’s Attorney Lies, Claims I Violated Protective Order

In a filing that he marked as an “emergency,” attorney Jeff Chiow, representing Episcopal priest Bob Malm, rector of Grace Episcopal Church in Alexandria VA, falsely told the Circuit Court that I had repeatedly violated the general district court’s protective order by posting to my blog, despite the fact that I have made no threats. In addition, Chiow untruthfully told the court that I had lied about being a police officer and an attorney (now retired).

In response to these fabrications, I filed disciplinary complaints against Chiow in multiple jurisdictions. My filing included documentation, both that I practiced law and served as a police officer.

So far, no comment from Chiow, or his law firm, Rogers Joseph O’Donnell. Nor has the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia or the national church done anything to address the torrent of inflammatory rhetoric and dishonest accusations being made by the church.

My advice: Avoid this sad, dysfunctional, toxic church and its childish power games.


Orange County Injunction Questions

Here are some questions from a reader, if anyone has any experience or advice to share with her.

My biological daughter has issued a temporary injunction against me. I live in Sarasota county and she lives in Orange County.  I need to speak to an expert when it comes to family law. My biological parents had adopted my daughter under extreme duress 16 years ago. 

I have been paying for it ever since. I appreciate any help or clarity. My parents have brainwashed my biological daughter and manipulated many things over the years. I moved away to get away from them it was only the past year that we all decide to forgive one another & start again. However, my daughter wants nothing to do with me. I only had reached out to her after my parents suggested I try a different approach. This approach has now landed me a court date on 8/27. 

The injunction of course is filled with coached material from my mother.  The confusing part is my parents and sister have stated they no longer were going to support my daughter's anger or enable her when everyone in the family has started over. I was told by my father just the other night my daughter will have to make a choice to forgive and move on; or she can make other arrangements for the holiday. 

I would appreciate any help. She is twenty and I seriously want her to be independent but this temporary injunction makes no sense. It is impossible to stalk her when I have a life in another county two hours away. I do not want to attend this court date by myself.  What is shocking that my mother and sister who I have talked to everyday for the past year provided private text messages to my daughter & a judge took it as apart of me stalking her which is so ridiculous. We are all family and I just do not get it. My dad refuses to be apart of this mess that my mom created.  My daughter is all over the internet from her youtube channel & instagram. I am not a stalker I am her biological mom & sister. I am 42 years old and I just want my life back to normal without any of this drama.  Thank you in advanced for reading and helping.