This Blog is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Some posters are court ordered to have no contact of any kind with the person having a Restraining Order against them. Meaning no third party contact as well. If you by chance know a person one of our posters/authors is discussing to share their experiences with others, we ask you to respect our rights to free speech, under the United States Constitution. Restraining Order Blog is not meant to harass, directly or indirectly contact, harm, intimidate, bring any emotional distress, stalk or cyberstalk, nor intentionally slander or damage any individual in any way. Nor is it intended to initiate any third party contact on behalf of any poster or author, or violate a current restraining order in any way either. If you feel there is anything here that is slanderous, untrue, or illegal, please bring it to our attention. We will examine your request promptly, and any post you find offensive will be reviewed for removal in a timely manner. If you have a story to share, email me at ka7niq@yahoo.com, and I will add you as an author on Restraining Order Blog.












4/13/2011

Restraining Order Violation - Third Party Contact





 Restraining Order Blog gets a number of questions from readers. Here is a restraining order violation question we just received. Courts have held that third party contact due to an official proceeding is not a violation of a restraining order. How could it be ? 


Hello, My brother and I have a restraining order from his x wife. My brother filed a motion with the court along with a 30 page document pretaining to his personal beliefs and his oppinion of the courts it was adressing the courts not her!..natrurally, the x wife recieved a copy from the courts because she is involved wit the case i.e child support. Anyway, she called the police after reading it. and he was aressted. we are now going to court for violation of restraining order third party contact. this has been ongoing for 8 years, the x wife has lied, uses the restraining order for when it is convinent for her. Mind you the restraing order was no way shape or form have to de with ANY type of violence she made up all kinds of things that were not true, and they hand out restraining orders like candy. She has used the system for vengence against my brother.. Do you think the courts should be considered third party?


Thank you

85 comments:

  1. sounds like she is pretty vindictive! What a tough situation...

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    1. omg my brother is going through the same thing,but she never lived with him,but put him in jail accusing him of beating her up,i know he didnt,but anyways,what she did was the worse thing anyone could do,she filed a restraining or on him using his own address,he is a sick man,very ill,he is on housing and gets ssi,so what i dont understand is how she can keep lying to the police and the courts and get away with it,i bailed him out,he went home,she was there,but he didnt know he couldnt go to his own apartment,what kind of justivce is this? right now he is in jail again,she is in and out of his apartment leaving door unlocked and doing anything she wants to do in his apartment,does this make any sense to anyone?he is in jail right now becaue she called the cops on him again,and said he beat her up again,i know he didnt,he was with me at my house,but he is still in jail without bail,this is so sad,because he was taking care of her when they were together,she threatened me in the court house ,but no one beleived me,i guess someone would have to hear it,ok so why is it she can say my brother beat her with no evidance,she hurts herslfe,she is a weirdo,what can i do to help my brother? im afraid to go to his apartment because she could call the police on me and say i beat her up also,anyways,please help me? thanks

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    2. Patty, the best thing you guys can do is get an attorney who specializes in violation of a restraining order defense.
      She is in the drivers seat now, because of our stupid laws.
      The best thing your brother can do is to NOT contact her in any way, and not have anyone else contact her, on his behalf either.

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    3. Actually talked to a police officer, the problem may be the thirty page motion he filed. A deposition of this type should ideally be , according to court etiquette, about five pages. Plus putting his beliefs and personal opinion about the courts, probably negative, was not in his best interest either. I believe the fact that the courts knowingly sent a copy of it to his ex in full violation should put the court and judge in trouble for criminal negligence. But I suppose if the system feels like it's being a third party drug into the drama between two people they can bite back..hard.

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  2. Yeah, sounds similar to saying a wife puts a restraining order against her husband but then she goes and sees him and things get out of hand and next thing you know he is being arrested for violating the restraining order. Doesn't make sense but it happens all the time. The guy should put on his Tiempo III shoes and run as fast as he can away from her, lol.

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    1. You know what happened? the women has different feelings. She always will give a second chance to her partners...whatever he try to convince her. I am not here to take a place whatever happened to this special situation But I am here to let you guys know that. It is not everytime them women is lying there a lot of case the women just keep give the husband a second chance....and there a many situation that make she call 911 because she has no choice..nothing can stop her partner...he is no affraid about anything and whatever he does he knows she always will give him a second chance because she loves him may she scare about her son grow with out a father...may she just lost her confidence because many times he has called her crazy just because he doesnt have anything else to say....I hope your case done well. Sorry about my english...But I could just leave this page with out tell you something.

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    2. It is abuse of the system when the wife contacts the husband after she has a protective order against him. Sadly, it's used as a weapon and once she wants him gone, she calls authorities.

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    3. Yes it is. It's called abuse of process, and my co/victim and I will be suing our petitioner for his efforts.

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  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  4. She's taking advantage of a messed up system and your brother is a victim of the system. Something needs to be done to avoid things like this.

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  5. No, assuming this exact fact pattern as you put forth, the courts should most certainly not be considered a third party.

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  6. My ex is a mentally ill nurse. I had a Florida board of nursing complaint all ready to send in regarding her. I was advised by 2 different attorneys that I could be arrested for third party contact if I filed the nursing board complaint. The restraining order is gone now, and I have filed my complaint.

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  7. Someone already mentioned that our legal system is all screwed up. They are right it is all screwed up and guess who is screwing it up, lawyers that's who!

    Shakespeare had it right as to what we should do with all of the lawyers...

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  8. I have heard a lot of situations similar to this one. You know, some wives are using this just to screw up the lives of their husbands. I hope your brother will be freed and his wife will be put into prison instead.

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  9. I'm not very good at this. Why would police arrest you just for filing a document at the court?

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  10. It is called third party contact, that's why!
    Here in Tampa Florida, if a person has a restraining order against you, and you cause anyone to contact them, you can be arrested for a restraining order violation. I knew a man with kids who was separated from his wife. He was supposed to pick his children up at a certain time, but was going to be late. He called his teenage daughter to tell her mother he would be late, and she called Tampa Police to get him arrested. He was sent to the Hillsborough County Orient Road Jail with a violation of a restraining order charge.

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  11. It's pretty obvious that she's taking advantage of the situation just to take a revenge against your brother. I really can't imagine why there are people who will do everything just for their own benefit or interest without thinking the possible effect of it to other people.

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  12. With regards to this kind of problem that focuses more on the family matters specifically on child support is a very crucial thing. Some women take advantage especially if they knew that their ex-husband has a good job. On the other hand if they file a divorce so, both of them agree on the laws that attached to it. They both have to agree on the child custody and child support as what the court has decided. It's a sad thing to know that your brother was put to jail because of this. But I do suggest that as soon as possible he needs to seek for the advice of a lawyer in order to help him and to clarify everything before it will be too late.

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  13. These are always some ex-wives who are taking advantage of the situation like this one, especially when their ex-husbands have a good job. All he needs to do is to consult a good attorney as soon as possible in order for him to have someone who can help him in this kind of tough situation.

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  14. Restraining orders are most often issued. I pity your brother for being the victim in this case.I heard a lot like this situation and this is a serious case that must be taken seriously.

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  15. Well, may I suggest that both parties will take legal advice from the expert. Both parties should address this issue because both are involved.On the other hand, restraining order is not an issue her, it so happen that it was used by other party just for her own benefit. Anyway, I got lessons from your post. Thank you.

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  16. That was a complicated case you were in. Complexities was always given in every case, that was why it was always consider to seek an advice from the experts who prioritizes similar to yours.

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  17. It is really a mess situation. You've better do a research more on this or even ask some legal advice from your attorney to settle this as soon as possible. Somehow our justice system is taken for granted by others though it is will implemented.

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  18. This is actually just a very simple problem but turned out to be complicated because the ex-wife took advantage of it for her hidden agenda. Maybe the best thing you can do for it is to seek for some advice from the one who is more knowledgeable in dealing with this kind of situation.

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  19. It is very visible that the ex-wife took advantage to the situation.Sad to say that your brother is a victim of this. It's been so long already, eight years is long wait. You need to seek more advice to concerned authorities on what the best thing to do with this.

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  20. Often these situations happen where someone takes advantage of these restrictions, as in this case she does for the issue of child support. Find a solution may take time, since the system of laws is not effective.

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  21. I do agree with Los Angeles DUI! It is simple problem but complicated one. It is obvious that she is taking it advantage even though we don't know the real story is. In this case, it is good that the husband and wife will talk in simple ways not having like this kind of situation that the other is taking advantage while the other is suffering.

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  22. Restraining Orders

    It takes a lot of self-control not to contact the most important person in your life. Even when it is against the law many people do it anyway at their peril. Restraining orders only go one way, against you. If the victim is calling you keep track of the calls and save the messages, but tell them you are under the restraining order and hang up the phone. A lot of so-called victims of domestic violence will abuse the restraining order by inviting you back, get mad at you again and have you arrested again. They won’t get in any trouble for doing this to you, and you’ll go to jail. Never risk arrest for violating the restraining order for any reason.

    Never ignore a civil restraining order, even if you think it was not properly served, was illegally obtained, or based on false information. When a judge issues a temporary restraining order it is illegal to disobey the order. You can be prosecuted for ignoring Violating a Restraining Orderthe restraining order. If you persistently ignore the court’s order by violating the temporary restraining order the judge may impose a permanent restraining order that will last at least three years. Go to the court date on the notice to appear with a domestic violence attorney to represent you. The prosecution can use anything you say in your civil case against you in the criminal case.

    You probably have some property where the victim is living you want to get back. The only way is to hire an attorney or wait until you are appointed an attorney and have the attorney’s investigator contact the victim to arrange to get the defendant’s belongings back or to communicate with the victim for any reason. You risk arrest for violating the restraining order if you go there by yourself, even using the civil standby process. Using a civil standby makes you vulnerable to more misdemeanor criminal charges. Restraining orders prohibit contacting the victim through a third party, which includes your friends, family and their friends.

    If a defendant needs to get personal belongings from their house they must contact the police and ask them to stand by while they quickly get their essential possessions. Make sure you are clearly more than 150 yards away from the residence when you call the police. The police will not permit any argument about what belongs to whom and what doesn’t. It is better to abandon your belongings than to set yourself up for a misdemeanor conviction for violating a court order that carries the usual domestic violence penalties.

    A defendant in a domestic violence case always has a restraining order put on them by the court making it a misdemeanor crime for them to have any direct or indirect contact with the victim. Even if the victim contacts the defendant the order remains in effect until a judge lifts it. A victim cannot lift a restraining order, only a judge can. This means that if the victim lives there (or the restraining order incorrectly says they do) a defendant can’t go to their house for any reason even if they pay the rent or own it. Defendants can’t call. It is difficult for defendants to visit their children. Even if a defendant is innocent of any crime they can still be prosecuted for violating the restraining order itself. Most restraining order violation cases are easily proven.

    Sometimes the district attorneys office will dismiss a case without filing charges. In this situation the restraining order will still be in place for several days. The D.A. can reinstate the charges for a year if it’s a misdemeanor, longer if it’s a felony. If a defendant makes unwanted contact with the victim after the temporary restraining order expires their activities could be reported to the police and they could be charged with the crime of stalking. Voice mail messages, e-mails, letters, floral bouquets, notes on cars, visits to the victim’s workplace, can all be used in evidence in a stalking prosecution.

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  23. Best advise, stay away, don't answer her calls and don't even THINK about her. Most people get caught up by wants to re-kindle the flame or contact the ex to try to be civil. Don't be a moron, this is a terrible idea! Oh, and by the way, would you please change the font size of this blog? What is this for the nearly blind?

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  24. Sometimes laws are not enough to stop someone in doing what is not "appropriate". It also takes power and enough self-control. In this case, rules had been established for both parties, however the wife is violating it. It's been so long already since this case was filed. I suggest that you should ask for advice to other people concerned to what's the best thing to do.

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  25. Basically, if you are innocent but think you might be accused of violating a restraining order, you should still be extremely worried and you should be. The consequences of being accused is that even if you didn't violated the restraining order it doesn't hold you're innocent. In that situation, you need to consider your options, and begin collecting evidence in your favor. It's a common tactic used during divorce cases so that the ex wife can accuse her ex husband of a violation of the restraining order. The important thing to remember is that as long as you stick by the rules, in the end you can win the custody case.

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  26. This issue is very serious. im so sad for what happened to your brother, and i think your brother is a victim in this case not his x-wife

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  27. This kind of issue not new in our society nowadays and even before. A complicated case like this needs a good attorney to settle it down. It is better for you if you ask this to attorney or someone who has the knowledge in some legal discipline.

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  28. That is a very serious situation and the victim here is your brother. I guess you need to ask a legal advice from a skilled attorney.

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  29. So sad. Your brother is clearly a victim of this. You should do something so as not to worse the worst. It's been so long already, I think you should solicit more advice from experts regarding this matter.

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  30. This is sometimes the scenario when there is a legal separation between the two person. This is really sad to hear because of some x wives who are taking the advantage of this situation. It is much better that he need to consult for a legal advice right away.

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  31. It is very common for one person in the relationship to not accept it is over, even when they have a restraining order in place against them. Desperate to save their marriage, they often enlist a friend to try and talk to the one they love for them. We see plenty of people arrested for this form of violating a restraining order called third party contact. We also see friends of the person who has the restraining order lie, and claim the restrained used them to contact the so called victim.
    If you are ever arrested for third party contact, never say anything to the Police about what happened except "I want a criminal defense attorney present before I answer any questions".
    Remember, the Police are NOT your friends, they are trying to make a case against you, and put you in Jail.
    Third Party Contact is very hard to prove, and you can win in a jury trial.

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  32. Well, getting through to something or someone which became part of our live for quite sometime is not that easy. It is to somewhat explain the behavior of the wife towards his ex husband. Sad to say your brother had to suffer for it.

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  33. good blog..nice artical publishing by you...appreciate on you...thanks for giving detail..

    happy after reading your blog....


    poultry

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  34. http://andrasszieberthtro.blogspot.com/

    I started a blog, similar to this one, only much more humorous and sarcastic. My petitioner, who I had a mutual no contact order with, tried to spin it as 3rd party contact. It is not. As the judge pointed out, he had to actively seek out the blogs, in order to read them. There's no way, that a restraining order, issued by a county court, supersedes your right to free speech, when you say things on your own website. I did not address my petitioner on this blog, but I could have. It's positively obscene, how the tro is abused in our courts. You would think, that in an economic crunch, they would be trying to eliminate at least, the frivolous cases, such as mine and my friend's.

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  35. Here in Hillsborough County Florida, we see victims of restraining orders being arrested for violation of a protection order through third party contact quite often. You would think Tampa Police and our Sheriffs Department would have something better to do, with all the crime there is in Hillsborough County ?

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  36. This is just a simple situation turned to be complicated because the ex-wife took advantage of such situation and I really pity your bother for being the victim. It's been a long time already and you have to make a move to help your brother. Well, I suggest that both parties will seek legal advice from experts. Both must address this issue because both are involved. I still believe that good communication can turn this situation to better.

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  37. So sad. It is very clear that your brother is just a victim of the situation where his wife took advantage of such. This is just a scenario that we can't deny when two persons undergone legal separation and it so happened that the ex-wife used this to take advantage. I really suggest that you ask advice from legal experts who really are knowledgeable in situation like this. It's been already a long wait and I think this is the right time to put an end to this problem.

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  38. It's true you must ask the expert about this matter. It is important to you to know the proper methods before doing something. We cannot avoid that if we move without any proper methods it can cause more problems.

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  39. In a situation like what your brother is encountering right now, advise form legal experts are very much needed. I really can't help myself to feel pity with what had happened to him. It is very clear that he became a victim of this situation. Yet, I still hope that this can be settled as much as possible if good communication will prevail. Good luck to your brother.

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  40. I highly suggest that you ask advice from experts who knows everything about this issue.This is one situation that occurs in today's society especially when there is a legal separation between two individuals. However, this will be solved if there will be proper communication between your brother and his ex-wife.

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  41. Restraining order is usually granted to the victim without a prior notice to the defendant. No wonder why your brother was arrested right away. But the best thing you can do to help is to research for a great lawyer who specializes in your case. Though it will not put a criminal record to your brother, it could be a terrible experience. Just help find evidences against your brother's ex-wife.

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  42. my brothers wife took a restraining order out also.but she the wife has been meeting and text and facebook messageing him. he went to jail even with the proff we have shown the police. i think she should be in jail too. can i contact the districk attorney since police will not lock her her for contacting me and meeting me texting message she wants to get back together ?the system is messed up. she called courts had it dropped and dis. attorney picked it up. and picked my brother up ,

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  43. Restraining Orders are one way orders. His wife can contact your brother all she wants. You can tell the district attorney, but I doubt it will do any good.
    Most district attorneys are more concerned with an arrest and a domestic violence conviction. I highly doubt they will drop the restraining order and/or domestic violence charges.
    She will have to petition the court, and ask the judge to lift the restraining order.

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  44. im from ga. this sounds about like whast my brothers going through although his tpo was dropped last thursday because she the wife new he has a lot of withness and text messages ,facebook messages printed for the court. she harrassed him between the time she took the order out up until the day of the tpo. she wasnt locked up all we would hear was she took the tpo out on you.they didnt care that she was calling blocking her number ,messaging or any of that. now my county police dept. kept saying she going to jail they even had a warrent sitting on thier desk but said when they picked up my brother for talking to her she would be locked up the next morning.i sign my brothers bond and asked if she had been picked up the next day . they said the DA said no dont lock her up. ever since this woman here was dragged by her husband behind a car with a rope to death and she has three retraining orders over three years past they the law would not listen they take a woman saying he hit me very seriously ,so they do hand these tpo out like candy for a woman ,and they have resouces lots of them for woman they help get them in a place ,turn their lights on , (you have to go through safe homes )to get tpo because she many woman get them just because they are mad .and safe isnt doing a better job if my sister n law so scared she should have went to safe homes home in augusta ga. where they told her she could come .my sister n law didnt use the money to turn on her lights this new place they paid first months rent and was gonna help her get a job .rent is do she has been laid up with my brothers childhood family friend who is on drugs lives with his mom in a two bedroom tralior and about 15 people total living there. now she had tpo dropped she is calling and him my brother n her have been meeting infact my brother most of his prescription went to her for herself and her boyfriend and my brother gave her 60 bucks for child support when she dont have thier child her mother keeps him. i was so flaming mad ,still am. this money wouldnt or shouldnt have went to her the next day i talk to our childhood friend she with sister she told me my sister n law was broke and has spent the money of pills ,she wants my brother back but she is scared to leave the boyfriend and my brother not take her back or them get together a few days and split up then she will loose her boyfriend,i had gave up so much in my life for my kids and all these nonsences makes me sick. i wish she would do things for her kids instead of letting her 15 year old lay up with a 18 yr old all these grown ups letting them do so and her 10 yr old she dont care or know where he is at or if he has anything to eat along as she is getting what she wants.im sure my brother will go back to her leave his girlfriend of 6 months ,i know him nor her will not make it through knowing he been with another woman and she has been with about 15 other men. sorry this isnt about your question but if it was here in ga. third party or any contact she has they dont or wouldnt care. his ex has pasted words to my brother through me and other people it dont matter but if he did he be sitting in jail. he has three charges from this voilating temp. retraining order now its been through out but his charges still stand . i wish for the best outcome for you and your brother

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  45. This is the most unjust - VAWA violence against women act is the reason the system is doing what it is- the wording in it allows protection orders with no facts or evidence. We need voices at the higher gov. level. This should never have happened to you

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  46. with a stay away order of protection can the victum get into trouble if she contacts the victum

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  47. No, the victim can contact the person he or she got the restraining order against, all they want.
    This is quite common, the person who got the order of protection will attempt to trick a person with a restraining order against them into violating it.

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  48. I need advice for my friend. she is current in jail, right now. On 1/5/12 6.15pm, police sarround her house and door on her door. She opened up and got arrested without reading her rights. Police told her that she violated restrained order by shown up at her ex husband home around 12noon on 1/5/12, but she was at working and was at the registry to renew her car registration at around noon to 2pm on 1/5/12. She was never ever anywhere close to her ex husband's house since the judge granded her a restrain order against him. He was the first one put a restrain order on her claimed that she threathen him, after she got served with the order then she counter file a restrained order against him for threathed to beat her up and kill her when he see her anywhere. Anywhere, the judge removed his order and granted her the restrained order against him. To make long story short is that WHY is the cops arrested her and told her that she has been to her ex house. What evidents, clue or witness that support the claimed lead to her arrested. All the cops said is that she violeted restrain order by shown up at his house around noon 1/5/12. Cops just arrested her and took her to jail, can not bail out. Cops told wait till 8.30am to court hearing infront of judge. She is a victim. Cops does not want to see her copies of the restrained order. Judge already dismissed his restrained order against her but why the cops refused to look at the paper, just arrested her, no warrent, no reading her rights, does not show her any paper work. I am very confuse! can the cops just arrest someone base on a false claimed or complainted. She did not do anything! What should she do? Can she sue the police dept or the system because the system fail to protected her. She the one whos have gotten the restrain order against him, but she never abuse it. She work two jobs trying to support her two kids (1 1/2yrs old boy and a 5yrs old girl)and her elderly parent. She is US citizen. She pay taxes and a good heart person that work very hard. Please advice.

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  49. Maybe you should proof read things before you send them.

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  50. There are mistreatments, exaggerations, false information, vendettas and any number of other unfair actions that happen when a restraining order is filed. That is unfortunate. But let me give you an example of a person who has had a restraining order served on them, and then mounts an assault on the person who has filed the restraining order.

    I have a neighbor who has six dogs that never stop barking, and a dog that threatens people because the dog is allowed to run unleashed. When the animal control came out to warn the people, the dog was not only allowed to run loose when the officer was there, it jumped her.

    After death threats, lewd screaming and while carrying a running chainsaw, I filed a restraining order. So now he sits by the community mail boxes and insults my wife, tries to run me off the road when I leave the house, threatens people who come to visit, stands in his yard clapping in order to get his dogs to bark, and a few more. Since the restraining order was finalized it court, he has driven his van onto my yard, and banged my door loud enough to put a small dent in it (that one got him arrested, but only because when the deputys arrived, he was drunk and admitted to beating on my door). I have had to set up a security system and put up no trespassing signs.

    The animal control is now going to fine him $80 per dog because of the barking. When this happens, he will again escalate his attacks again. We can't go in our back yard at all, because we get barraged with insult and the guy stands in his back porch where my cameras do not pick it up, and the dogs are loud enough to prevent us from talking.

    Although I do not entirely blame the system, it seems to be designed in such a way as to be ineffective. Unless there are witnesses, or he admits to the actions he is accused of, that restraining order is rather useless.

    I would welcome anyone to shed some insight.

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  51. My wife has an injunction order against me. but she texts calls and even comes in and to my house whether im home or not. can't she get in trouble

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  52. What i do if my own wife is violating her own injunction order.

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    1. I am not an attorney and am in no way attempting to represent myself in such a manner other than the knowledge of my personal experience.
      Follow the restraining order to a T. If she continues to harass you I suggest you contact the police. Make them aware of the injunction in place and let them know she is trespassing. Don't pick up the phone, don't answer the door, and don't text back. If she wants to see/talk to you, she can have the injunction dissolved. Until then, be careful.

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  53. Im so sick of the abuse of Harassment /Restraining orders because it should go both ways, u put a harassment/restraining order on someone You also should abide by the laws n be mature about it. But theres so much gray area that the person who files it thinks they can do anything to u n have power n control over u n bully u n harass u so ull react so they can put u back behind bars. Thats sooooooo BOGUS! !!! THEY NEED TO CHANGE THE LAWS!!!!! IM SO SICK OF OUR NEIGHBOR WHO STARTED THE CRAP N THEN PUTS A HARASSMENT /RESTRAINING ORDER ON US BECAUSE HIS WIFE THREATENED TO LEAVE HIM!!!! HES A DRUNK N SITS IN HIS DRIVEWAY EVERYAY HE CAN N STARES AT US N VIDEO TAPES US! SAYS HESS SCARED OF US YET YELLS IN OUR FACES WHEN WERE IN OUR YARD WALKING BETWEEN OUR HOUSE N HIS!! HIS DAY IS COMING CUZ THE FENCE IS GOING UP N HE HATES THAT ALREADY N STILL TRYING TO MAKE US LOOK BAD!!!! HES THE TOTAL JERK! !!! AND HE WILL PAY THE PRICE FOR ALL HOS EVIL DOINGS TO US. KARMAS SLAPPING HIM IN THE FACE LITTLE BY LITTLE! !!!! And were filing big time against him!!!!!!

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  54. In this case, the court is not a third party. Remember that it was the court who issued that restraining order for your brother. The issue is very common. It is however very sad to think that the case has not yet rested. However, it is your party's legal counsels to take into responsibility of defending your interest against the ex-wife's allegations and of course the "lies". Your counsels should be the one who will let the truth set free.

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  55. I was just threatened with one of these for no reason than contacting someone I thought was a friend. She has gone nuts since I spoke with her at Christmas and thinks I'm her enemy for some reason. It just seems like to me they are giving these out to too many mentally ill people !

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  56. The non-citizen male, professional athlete who filed tro's against me and another woman out of "fear", (he's 6'4 230 lbs), is currently in therapy for admitted sexual addiction and pathological lying. If you're a victim of a tro that was predicated by lies, you do have options. You can sue for abuse of process and/or malicious prosecution. My accuser suffers from all sorts of personality disorders. It's my opinion and belief that people who LIE to the court in order to exact revenge or legal advantage, make it difficult for REAL victims of domestic violence to be taken seriously. However, being the narcissistic, self-important liars they are, they don't care, if it doesn't affect them personally. I hope there's a special place in hell for these losers.

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    1. yes i agree with you going thru the same..nothing but lies..yet you open your doors for them and you got a slap in the face for being that one nice person..nothing but lies..and yes the system is so messed up thats one reason why when they file the TRO first its like you got a record on you and when you have proof of something to let them know you aren't lieing they choose them over us its like we the criminals here..

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  57. Any suggestions, tips, etc. on how to respond to this "what if" scenario:

    A respondent with a temporary restraining order is accused of violating the tro after a social media site mass emails "invitations" in the account holder's name but without the account holder's knowledge or permission, and one of those "invitations" ended up in the mail box of the filer of the TPO?

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    1. I have gotten those a lot of times on facebook twitter, but not intended, I think it's either a glitch or something because they keep changing things, I know these people to not have contacted me or even known me, it's strange, maybe they have a quota? Or perhaps they go through randomly friends lists of friends and you just happened to be picked? a coincidence? Not sure....weird for sure.

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  58. You CAN be arrested on it for "probable cause", but as long as you keep your mouth SHUT, and never talk to the Police, it is hard to convict you of it. Here is why. The Police must PROVE that you originated the emails. Heck, anyone could have used your computer, if you know what I mean !
    Never ever ever talk to the Police w/o a lawyer present. They are not your friends, regardless of what they tell you, they are trying to take your freedom away.
    Police can be very tricky, and will say they are here to help you, and/or it will go easier on you if you tell your side of the story. The Police do not give a Fuck about you. All they care abut is making a case and an arrest.

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  59. It's not a question of whether someone might have used one's computer so much as the fact that a social media company apparently has some confusing easily triggered electronic mechanism in place that may may have somehow mass emailed invitations to one's email address book without the owner of the address book's knowledge or consent. It is embarrassing enough that this could happen simply for professional reasons. But far worse is that that it seems possible under the law that some weird electronic glitch, virus, malware, whatever, can land an innocent party in jail, forced to deal with and all the expenses and other nightmarish consequences associated with that. If there is a motion to adjudicate in such a situation, how can a totally innocent party protect him/herself at a hearing when the petitioner claims that they received emails that went out to everyone in his/her book? How important is it to have a attorney in such matters?

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    1. Any suggestions about what an attorney might do to quash a motion to adjudicate because of an trumped up violation of a stay away order triggered when a mass emails went not only went to the petitioner but to the innocent party's entire address book. Isn't the company obligated to step up to the plate and state loud and clear that such a bogus violation could have been caused by malware, virus, glitch, deceptive business practices, and other reasons? By failing to do that, isn't it exposing itself to huge liability?

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    2. oh make no mistake about it, any media site has all your records, all you have posted, all you have erased, messages sent and received, your name, email and ip address leading back to your computer and home address. You are screwed. You WILL BE TRACED. And for someone who is being stalked by their abuser and who has figured this out has certainly done some reporting and investigation is being done. If you have violated anything once that comes back. I am sorry, but you will have to take the fall for that, no matter how many times they call you, you do not call them, make no attempt to post anything about them, do not ask them to call or talk, no texts, no contact through media you think can't be traced because today all of it can be. Even PAYPHONES so don't risk it, leave them alone and let them get on with their life and don't risk getting into anymore trouble. The liability doesn't lie with any of the media pages, it lies with your actions. Don't try to figure out a way around it to contact or harass someone or stalk them. Own up to the situation and the fact it's over, you have a restraining order on you and life goes on. Without that person in your life ever again, for whatever behavior you have displayed. Noone else is to blame. Not every woman who has a restraining order is a vindictive bitch out to wreak havoc on someone's life. Some genuinely need the protection from abusive, maladaptive, anti-social abusive maniacs who have it in their head that if they can't have us no one will.

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  60. @Anonymous, you bring up some very good points! First of all, this restraining order blog suggests someone hire a criminal defense attorney as soon as possible, in the court process. The time to get a lawyer and fight the TRO is before it is placed in effect. This is why we consider the selecting and finding of a good criminal defense attorney essential, to represent you at the very first court hearing. Once the injunction is made permanent, then you can easily be the victim of a easily triggered mass Emailing from some social network, and locked up for something you had no part of!
    Once a restraining order is put into effect against you

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    1. Chris...the above email seems to trail off, ending with "once a restraining order is put into effect against you..." Could you please finish your thought on this on the important posting immediately above. tnx.

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  61. @Anonymous- Once a restraining order is put into effect against you, the fun and games begin. You life can turn into a freaking nightmare! Not only will you have this injunction on your record forever (just try and find a new partner with a restraining order on your police record), but it will effect your credit score, and chances for employment. But, that's just the beginning ! A Restraining Order gives great power over you to someone willing to Lie! All your EX has to do is call the Police, and CLAIM she and another witness saw you come by her home/work, and off to jail you will go!
    She can even use a fake caller ID Service to make it look like you called her, show the Police the caller ID, and you go to Jail! Or, she can even get a friend to Lie to the Cops, and say you asked this friend to contact her, on your behalf, and you will be arrested for Violation of a Restraining Order by Third Party Contact!

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    1. This is not true............the police don't listen to a woman based just on what she says and off you go. I don't know where you live, but they demand evidence witnesses or some kind of reasonable or just cause to believe the other person caused the crime. Sorry, you are way off there.

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  62. After such an order is granted (and even prior to one being granted), what steps can an innocent party take to protect themselves from abuse of process?

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    1. Don't pay for anything in cash. Use a credit or debit card so you can keep a journal of your daily whereabouts. Keep a daily journal, no matter how insignificant. Do "check in's" on your facebook daily. My accuser filed a motion for contempt against me and another woman. I had a bank receipt which proved I was over 200 miles away, around the time he accused me. Hopefully, HE will go to jail for this instead.

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  63. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  64. I have been having a difficult time serving someone in California I live in Chicago . A friend of my daughters has been causing me undue stress for 9 yrs. Recently I blogged what she did to me . No names mentioned and added her photo to one blog. She is an illegal immigrant who cursed at me in my home when I lived in California . I and my daughter no longer live there yet daughter allows visits from this girl and visits her as well. The girl not only took belongings from my home when I was in California but has continually implicates herself where my relationship with my daughter and her children are concerned telling her to prevent me from seeing my grandchildren because she thinks I am crazy . She called my number after taking it from my daughters cell phone sometime ago and the call came up as missed. I didn't call it back and eventually forgot about the number . I then got verification from my daughters x boyfriend who she also called to see if this number was hers.And it was . So I saved it in my cell.Then this weekend she gives my number to some man who she had call me telling me he was a police officer in Los Angeles and demanding I remove my blog addressing me under my maiden name . When asked where he found me he claimed facebook. He gave me a story that "a person" is at the station fearing her safety and life and that "someone" put a blog together about her.I told him that I will have my local police contact him. I asked him which district police department he was at and he just said Los Angeles. Los Angeles is big and he had no police ID number . I made a police report and the same night calls from a restricted number came to my cell phone one after another for about 3 minutes. Answering one of the calls it was her voice and she said "you will be sorry " and hung up. More calls came in. In e order to serve her a no call no stalking order I need to ask how can that be done if we have no address? Can I obtain help because she has priors and has been arrested? Her records were expunged but she was on probation and recently fined for operating a pornography business without a license but in what county we cannot find public records of anything. She is illegal in the states and has told me so . I fear the safety of my daughter and now grandchild now knowing what her lifestyle and crimes are .Help much needed.

    Chicago IL

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  65. I almost never drop responses, however i did some
    searching and wound up here "Restraining Order Violation - Third Party Contact".
    And I actually do have 2 questions for you if you don't mind. Could it be just me or does it appear like some of these responses look like they are coming from brain dead people? :-P And, if you are writing on additional sites, I would like to follow everything fresh you have to post. Would you make a list of all of your community sites like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?
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  67. I have a restraining order against my husband! last night he came and try to get my car door open. he broke handle. some one call the cops due to him screaming at me. he got arrested. what can i do to help him? please any one have any ideas? i dont want him to go to jail is not the place for him.

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  71. Is anyone familiar with California Law?

    My friend was with a woman for a year and a half. A lot of things happened and one day my friend snapped and ended up getting arrested for domestic violence. The woman tried to have the charges dropped and also told the police that she did not want the protective stay away order in place but the court still imposed one. After my friend got out of jail the woman invited her back into the home and allowed my friend to stay there even with the order in place. They recently got into a disagreement and now the woman has kicked my friend out of the house, refuses to answer any phone calls about my friend getting her belongings back from the house, and what not. My friend doesn't want to have contact with her anymore and just wants her belongings back. What can my friend legally do to get back her stuff and what can happen to the woman and my friend for violating the order that the court put into place?

    Any information would be great.

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